In order to understand how to be happy we need to look at how we think. There are three different ways we react to everything around us.
The first is by wanting. We are brought up in a culture where we’re told that we need to obtain something or reach a certain goal in order to be happy oh we need to get that new phone we need to get a bigger TV we need to get that promotion we need to take a picture of this meal and put it onto Instagram.
But if you think back to any major purchase you made or achievement you reached your picture you posted sure you felt happier for a while but soon after you are back on the hunt. Every single time you end up finding yourself back at your original level of happiness only this time with less money in your wallet and more wrinkles on your face. So it’s safe to say happiness doesn’t lie in the wanting category.
The second way we react is by rejecting. From the moment we wake up our mind automatically starts to look for things to reject around us oh I feel so tired but I have to go to work so cold I don’t want to leave my bed we reject others oh he’s so awkward oh why can’t this cashier do his job properly we reject ourselves so out of shape why am I such a loser again it’s safe to say there isn’t much happiness here either.
3. Zoning Out
The third way we react is by zoning out what were confronted with a task that’s quote-unquote boring like commuting to work or waiting at the doctor’s office we tend to zone out. Everything become sort of hazy it’s almost as if you put on a black and white filter over your eyes your brain goes on to sleep mode and your mind is either lost in the past over past regrets or lost in the future filled with anxiety about things that might go wrong doesn’t sound like a fun place to be.
These three ways of reacting make up over ninety-nine percent of the way the average person goes about his day to day life no wonder they’re unhappy.
So How Do I Become Happy ?
Well there’s actually a fourth way of reacting something that we only experience once in a blue moon it’s here where happiness really lies. It’s the way you reacted when you visited the Grand Canyon for the first time, it’s the feeling astronauts describe when they see the Earth from outer space it’s the way you were when you were younger able to spend hours just looking at bugs and pictures it’s called mindfulness.
Think of it as the opposite of zoning out your zoning in being hyper aware of everything in front of you the way something feels the way it moves it smell its taste all of its features and nothing else this means there’s no room for wanting no room for rejecting and you certainly not zoned out all of your focus.
Is just on the exact thing or event happening right in front of you there is no judgment. there’s simply room for you to take it all in and when you react to things and events with mindfulness happiness follows and it stays for good by simply learning how to focus on what’s in front of you.
You make room for happiness in your life and the only way to become more mindful in your reactions on a day-to-day basis is by practicing meditation.
Now I’m sure there’s a lot of you guys for watching this thinking oh God this is some hocus-pocus nonsense. I’ve heard about meditation it makes no sense. I’m not going to sit down and do nothing for 10-20 minutes but there are literally hundreds of studies backing up this claim.